Disclaimer: This is a random ad for our new line of Shiri no Hintu products. If you don't know what "Shiri no Hintu" means, by all means, e-mail me or look it up yourself. ^_~ I am using characters that don't belong to me. I don't intend for it to seem like they belong to me. Happy?

Feedback: Watashi no tamago! ~ sailorN1@aol.com

PWP Ad, #1

by Crystal Dawn

*Lina, Amelia, Zelgadis, Gourry, and Filia are sitting around a table at "Ye Random Inn and Tavern". They have just sat down and are waiting for their waiter to bring their order to them. Suddenly, Lina sits up and sniffs the air.*

Lina: What's that smell? It doesn't smell like food cooking…

Amelia: *sniffs* You're right, Miss Lina. But it does smell like…

Gourry: *sniffs* It smells like lemons!

Lina: Wonder where it's coming from..?

*Xellos suddenly appears out of nowhere, holding a huge bottle of yellow liquid. He plops the bottle down on the table, smiling broadly.*

Xellos: Well, Lina, I'm glad you asked. *voice changes to that of David Moo when he is NOT affecting the Xellos voice… that is to say, his voice drops about eight octaves and begins to sound like a salesman* This tavern uses new Shiri no Hintu Lemon Scented PWP Brand Cleaning Solution! *everyone sweatdrops and gives him a look of "What the hell."*

Filia: *crosses arms* What would garbage like you know about cleaning, anyway?

Xellos: *twitch**twitch**twee-yatch* This restaurant keeps all of it's floors and tables Squiky clean with the burning cleansing power of Lemon Scented PWP Cleaning Solution. Why, just look at the slick, wet-looking finish on this table! It's glistening, shiny, moist appearance not unlike that of dewy flower petals was made possible through the generous use of PWP!

*others give him diseffected looks of disbelief, except for Amelia, who looks as if she's considering the cleaning properties of this miracle product*

Amelia: Oh, Mr. Xellos! I'd love to clean my palace back in Seyruun with some of that! It smells so heavenly!

Xellos: *evil, manipulative bastard grin* Would you like my help, Amelia?

*before Amelia can say anything else, Zelgadis covers her mouth with his hand*

Zelgadis: *knows what he's getting at* No, Xellos, no she wouldn't. *Amelia looks sorely disappointed*

Xellos: *recovers quickly, evil grin returning* Well, would you like my help with cleaning, Zelgadis?

Zelgadis: *turns blue… bluer* I wouldn't touch that stuff with someone else's ten foot pole.

Xellos: *not defeated yet, still holding out with the grin* What about you, Lina? I'm sure you'd love to get covered in the lemon-scented goodness with me?

Lina: *grinning sadistically* Only if you want to eat Gourry's sword.

Gourry: *has drawn sword and is looking viciously ~ as viciously as Gourry can manage, leastways ~ at Xellos from over the blade**polish**polish**polish*

Xellos: *sweatdrop, takes a step back* Well, I see the strong, passionate Lemon scent may not be for all of you. *recovers, goes back into salesman mode* Shiri no Hintu has planned ahead for just such an occasion. For those who can't handle the awesome, throbbing, cleaning might of the regular Lemon scent, there's a gentler Lime scent. It's got a silky, feathery soft, teasing scent, but still has all the cleaning strength, potency, and stamina of the original! *everyone is still sweatdropping, with the exception of Amelia, who is really buying this, and Filia, who is becoming less skeptical and more curious about the new Lime scented version**Xellos notices and grins* Would you like to try some, Filia?

Filia: *skeptically at first, but then leaning over to smell the bottle he's holding**smells, and finds that it is indeed Lime-scented and quite nice* This smells really nice! I like this one better! Amelia, I think we should clean with this one instead!

Amelia: *brightly* Oh, that sounds like a great idea, Miss Filia! Mr. Zelgadis, would you help me clean with some of this?

Zelgadis: *blushes intensely, realizing exactly what she just asked him ~ even if she doesn't* Uhhh, that is…. I mean…. *grumbling shyly* Xellos, where did you get that stuff, anyway…?

Xellos: *beaming wickedly* Lemon, Lime, and Fluff Scented PWP Cleaning products ship directly from Shiri no Hintu's Anime Love Shack and Coffee House in beautiful Short Pump, Virginia! *everyone sweatdrops at the name of the supply house*

Lina: Anime… Love Shack?

Amelia: What's a 'Virginia'?

Xellos: *continuting, despite the questions* All Shiri no Hintu products can also be found at your local ghetto-assed 24-hour Walgreens and Val-Mart stores!

Zelgadis: *scribbling furiously on a scrap of notebook paper* Ghetto… assed… Walgreens… Got it!

Xellos: *sly grin* Now, would anyone like to try a bottle of this out with me?

Lina: *idea!* If we send Filia with you to clean WolfPack Island, will you shut up?

Xellos: *GENKI!* YES!

Filia: *BINK!* NO! I don't want to clean with him!

Lina: *ignoring her* Bye, Xellos.

Xellos: *GENKI! And GENKI still!**picks Filia up by her arms from her chair and disappears* Bye, all! And remember! It's Squicky-riffic!

*everyone blink-blinks for a second before…*

Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis, what did PWP stand for anyway?

Zelgadis: *hurredly putting away map which is being used to locate Short Pump, Virginia* Uhhh, nothing, Amelia… Nothing at all…

Feedback: Support your local Val-Mart! ~ sailorN1@aol.com